1. By default, everyone will hate me if I hate you. You really suck sometimes, you know? You know.
2. Your girlfriend sucks.
3. Why won't you let me just lie on the floor?
4. I would like to request that you talk less whenever you're around me. Thanks.
5. I have to live with two soccer players.
6. I guess you can love me and not be "in love" with me. That sucks.
7. Sometimes I'm going to say "I have an opinion about the death penalty" and you can just deal with that.
8. You resent me for moving on. I'm sorry, but it was unfair for you to ask me to hang around you like a weed and applaud every time the secondhand moved.
9. You totally suck around boys. Like, we were honestly pretty mad at you.
10. Sometimes you hate me and I hate that. I'm sick of bending over backwards and saying, "This far? This far? This far?"
This: "Of course."