Wednesday, April 25, 2012

i smell the blood of an englishman

No, there was never enough bread or air around here. So I learned to eat and breathe like I was coming home after a long time. 

I'm always coming home. 

Trial and error.
-Avery Jalaine

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

saturn's rings, and many many moons

I'm sick of seeing bad movie reviews because they remind me of myself.

And I know that there a lot of different people in the world but I can only see two kinds: the ones that I love and the ones that like the movie "Grease".

I've been answering questions with questions lately. I've been justifying what I do. I've been rolling out of bed at 1:30 in the afternoon and saying "Good evening" when I do it because I can't make myself believe that the sun has been rising earlier than usual. I'm just tired.

And maybe I'm tired because I try to count all the people that I've met before I go to sleep at night. Maybe I'm tired because I spend my time looking up synonyms for "oh look what a glorious day it was" instead of synonyms for "good" and "bad". It was a pretty devastating day, but, for heaven's sake, it was glorious. Maybe I'm tired because out of all the love songs in the world, I chose the one with the key changes and the bridge that leads back to the beginning. Half the time I'm making it up as I go. Get it perfect, Avery.

I take up a lot of space and that's why I have no problem saying, "Move over", and stepping on toes and using my elbows. All I want is for All Of Humankind to turn around one day and say, "Avery, I'm in love with you. Avery, you're gorgeous". I'm unrealistic. I get that. I also want red hair and a suspension bridge that goes straight to Kaitlyn's house. Sometimes you have to compromise for black low-tops and the month of April.

Look at everything. If you want a house, so do I. If you love the opera, so do I. If your knuckles bleed, so do mine. If someone peeled back my skin and looked underneath all of... this, this skin and this soft spot for Fridays after school, they'd probably find a lot of you under there. I have less substance that I let on. I have a lot of hair, and fear. If you sing a solf├Ęge, so will I.

I don't want courtesy or kindness from you. I want an honest fight. Don't let me get away with anything. Tattletale on me. Rat me out. I'm the center of the universe, I'm the sun, and you are, too. Everything you do reminds me of learning how to swim.

"We have a wretched motley crew in the fleet; the Marines, the refuse of every Regiment, and the Seamen, few of them, ever wet with salt water." (Benedict Arnold)
-Avery Jalaine


Saturday, April 14, 2012



1. By default, everyone will hate me if I hate you. You really suck sometimes, you know? You know.

2. Your girlfriend sucks.

3. Why won't you let me just lie on the floor?

4. I would like to request that you talk less whenever you're around me. Thanks.

5. I have to live with two soccer players.

6. I guess you can love me and not be "in love" with me. That sucks.

7. Sometimes I'm going to say "I have an opinion about the death penalty" and you can just deal with that.

8. You resent me for moving on. I'm sorry, but it was unfair for you to ask me to hang around you like a weed and applaud every time the secondhand moved.

9. You totally suck around boys. Like, we were honestly pretty mad at you.

10. Sometimes you hate me and I hate that. I'm sick of bending over backwards and saying, "This far? This far? This far?"

This: "Of course."
-Avery Jalaine

a picture of my life lately

But if anyone else can clear things up, please, by all means, be my guest. I'm at a loss here.

Twenty-fingered love.
-Avery Jalaine