Friday, November 25, 2011

my romance with impatience

I'm going to be a good public speaker when I'm dead. I'll go skydiving when I'm dead. Yeah? And I'm going to eat sushi all the time when I'm dead. Sushi for breakfast. Sushi for dessert. And no California Rolls either, do you hear me? When I'm dead, I'm going to wake up before 2:14 in the afternoon, I swear. And I'm going to answer the phone, answer your texts, answer when you call up the stairs for me, "Avery? Avery?", but only once I'm dead. I'll do my homework when I'm dead. I'll wear gold chains, platinum bootstraps, diamond band-aids on my broken fingers, when I am dead. But not a second sooner. I'll write you a check for my overdue tough love when I'm dead. I'm going to kiss you on both cheeks and wave goodbye when I'm dead, I'm going to take up chess, I'm going to bleed it out, I'm going to give my condolences to Impatience and Luck when I'm dead. I'll stitch up my old wounds when I'm dead.

But not until I'm dead. 

Don't change me, don't color me in with a black magic marker and call me beautiful. Don't wake me up early. I'm ready to sleep. I'm alive so I'm going to run myself ragged. I'm going to stand on my tiptoes until I can take the moon and crumble it in my hands. I'm so sick of medicine. I'm so sick of standing on each others' shoulders to try to reach the top shelf. 

I want to write something that's going to change your life. I want you to Like it on Facebook, you know?  But maybe once I'm dead I'll finally look up a word in the dictionary that's long enough to say everything that I mean.When I'm dead I'll finally be able to brush the dust off my face and work up an appetite. I've got this big life and I don't have time to spell the words for you that I use and you don't understand. You want to waste your life? Fine. Don't change me, though. Don't pickpocket me of my aggression and my cynicism, don't strip me of my diseases. You want glory? Fine. You want romance? Fine. 

I'll show you just how glorious, I'll show you just how "romantic" I can be when I'm dead.

If looks could kill.
-Avery Jalaine

1 comment:

  1. Okay, this is really fantastic -- like, really, really good -- but if killing you is what it's going to take to get you to call me back, I might go to desperate measures.


Oh thanks. You're pretty.