Sunday, June 5, 2011

I only have one 100% guaranteed safety phrase for when you're traveling in France, and I'd like to share it with you. It's a rare, albeit life-or-death situation. So, it's really useful, is what I'm trying to tell you.

When you meet a stranger in France, say this: "Êtes-vous un extraterrestre?"

And if he says, "Non, je ne suis pas un extraterrestre", then you can be friends.

But if he says, "Oui. Je suis un extraterrestre. Bleep bloop bleeeeeeeep", then you should run for life and also call the government.

On the other hand, if you say this: "Êtes-vous un magicien?"

And the Frenchman's reply is: "Je suis un magicien!" Marry him.

And there you have it. Complete conversational French for your next trip to Paris. Au revoir!

And if the clock gets stuck on 11:03, does that mean that it's 11:03 forever?


  1. That is probably the best thing I've ever seen. Let's go to France and say stuff in French.

  2. Better, let's go to the aquarium and say stuff in German. My sister plans on doing this for her twentieth birthday. And really, this benefits everyone involved: we will get to pretend to be more interesting than we are, and passerby will feel somehow more interesting for having met a group Europeans by the sea otter exhibit. It's a win/win.

  3. This is the best thing I've seen all week.

    Remember that one time when I met Jed's dog?


Oh thanks. You're pretty.