Tuesday, May 3, 2011

my clothes are going out of style

One of the things that I don't look forward to about the future --- I'm quite heartbroken about it, actually --- is the end of the era of throwback class. The end of the current un-trendy trendiness, the end of wool peacoats and lace and leather satchels and French braids and sweater-vests and the color peach and little, ankle-showing canvas shoes.

I'm going to be devastated when, in 20-something years, my bratty kids scoff at cardigans and oxfords.

Because I'm sure the 80's never thought that the 80's were going to go out of style. I'm sure the 90's didn't either, but have you
seen the 90's? The 90's was a disaster. Is 2011 going to be a disaster? Will our yearbook pictures be a source of humor for eons to come? I can't imagine it, we look so... normal. So sleek. Nothing compared to those Coke-bottle glasses and flock-of-seagulls hair-do's from our parents' age. Right?


I'm scared for the time when boys will ditch their sweaters and revert back to baggy jeans and so-called "sneakers" and that plaid-shirt-opened-over-another-shirt thing in imitation of the perfect 1995 wannabe. I'll kill myself.

And what'll I do? Throw away my tights and my Toms and the most perfect Poodle Sweater that has ever been? I think not. I think I'd rather be one of those stuck-in-the-80's moms (in my case... stuck-in-the-10's?) that seem soooooo lame to us now, but really are the embodiment of style (that is, if you travel back in time 30 years)?

Yep, that'll be me: embarrassment to teenagers everywhere, and proud.

Can't catch me.
-Avery Jalaine


  1. Anonymous3.5.11

    You are brilliant, brilliant, brilliant

  2. Oh my gosh I think about this all the time!! It freaks me out. Because I can't imagine what we wear now going out. It's too cool.

    You're lovely.

  3. Besides the resurgence of tie dye, super cropped tops with highwaisted pants, peasant garb, that awkward strip of belly called a "mid drift", plaid with more plaid, over-alls, boxer-flashing baggy pant/short things, platform flip flops, anything featured on Clueless, and boys with long dirty hair, what was really so bad about the 90's?

  4. Have you ever thought about the music we listen to? I always scoffed at my parents choice in music, but AVERY. This is our music and we will be listening to Kids by MGMT and our own children will scoff and we will know every word... WE ARE ALL GOING TO GROW UP AND BE STUCK.

    History repeats itself. It's a fact.

  5. I don't think I could live without my oxfords. They are the best thing that ever happened to me.
    I too, will be a woman that teens will be embarrassed of. It's fine.

  6. Avery Jalaine,
    I want you to know that when you are an author, I'll be first in line to buy your book.
    Even if the line is perpetual, there are holes in my shoes, and it's raining.
    Even if I forgot my umbrella.

    You're brilliant.


Oh thanks. You're pretty.