Saturday, May 21, 2011
hours for breakfast, seconds for snacks
I am a time waster.
I waste the week waiting for the weekend and then I waste the weekend waiting for the summer and then I waste summer waiting for school to start again; rinse, repeat.
I wake up after the sun and try to earn the hours back by staying up late.
I'm obsessed with the future, but once I get there, I'm still looking for a different future. I barely ever am in the present. But the future is now, and I forget that.
Here's the thing: this school year blew past me so fast that I felt it break the air around me. I staggered. There's two weeks left of it and I don't think I did anything for nine months. How can a person not do a single thing for nine months?
Here's my newest promise, meant to be broken, but not meant to be discarded as quickly as the others: I will waste no more time.
I will do things.
I will not watch the clock.
I will kill only as much time reading books and watching 90's movies as I spend it doing something more noble like maybe walking in the Bull River or painting watercolors.
I will get up off the couch.
I will find the latest, greatest thing.
I will not doom myself to loneliness even when all my friends appear to be, sadly enough, dead, or at least not answering their cell phones.
I will learn the art of time-savoring.
I will try not to be late.
I will try not to procrastinate.
I will try not to zone out.
I will blog, but I will not click "refresh" fourteen times to see if someone has viewed the site since the last time I updated the page.
All this, and more, just look at me now. Stop wasting time with me, will you? Come with me.
Let's be better, let's be French.