Saturday, February 19, 2011

Hypochondria





(song of the day: The Sun by Portugal. The Man. I just added it to my playlist, so you don't even have to stress out about Googling it.)

...


I am a hypochondriac.


Hypochondria: noun. Abnormal anxiety centered around imaginary physical ailments.)

I spend most of my life convinced that I'm about to drop dead, and when I'm not on my death bed, I'm thinking about the next threat of illness, putting hand sanitizer all over myself. But it's not usually little things like, "I bet I have a cold". It's always those really bizarre diseases you see on
Medical Mysteries, where you cry blood or have an unborn twin inside of you or something.

Mostly everything makes me believe I have cancer.


Some symptoms:
  • Stomach ache: colon cancer
  • Headache: brain tumor
  • Earache: brain tumor
  • Do you hear that ringing sound?: brain tumor
  • Growing pains: leukemia
  • Cough: lung cancer
  • Examine freckles; they're deformed!: skin cancer
  • Arm itches: skin cancer
  • Feeling fatigued: most forms of cancer, plus Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • Have to pee: bladder cancer


And that's the story of how I jinxed myself into dying of cancer. G'night. Sleep well.



Tell. Don't tell.

-Avery Jalaine

2 comments:

  1. I used to have an anxiety thing that caused me to wake up sometimes around 3am certain that I was dying of a heart attack. I'd wake up and think, "I'm dying. I'm only in my early 20's and I'm dying of a heart attack. I'm going to become one of those stories on Discovery Health where a perfectly healthy young person dies of some freak, undiagnosed malfunction." Thanksfully, it went away.

    Take some vitamin C, you'll be fine. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well. When you die of various complications due to cancer, can I have Mundi?

    ReplyDelete

Oh thanks. You're pretty.