Friday, January 28, 2011

1 happy post (and 99 other ones)

Hip hip hurray! Because this is my 100th post!

100 is something of a landmark, and I'm a little teeny bit surprised that I actually reached it.

Of course, I'd also just like to say thanks for reading, and I'm not always sure why you do it.

Here. This is what you've been reading for the past eight months on Go Ask. (And a link to this, only bigger so that if you're obsessed with me, you can see all the blurry little words. jklolbff.)
Well. Here's to another 100, yeah? Thanks for following.

-Avery Jalaine

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Teaser Tuesday ; ; the first

Hiya. I heard about Teaser Tuesdays from Ren over at All By MySHELF (yay for book blogs!) and I thought that the whole concept of posting a random "teaser" line from a book you're reading sounded muy bueno.

So here I go!

The book I'm currently reading is Across the Universe by Beth Revis. I bought it last Monday.

Yeah, it's sci-fi. Yeah, it's a Beatles reference. Yeah, it has the most spectacular cover art probably in the whole history of YA.
Here, let me tease you:

"I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one."

Okay. I'll stop teasing you (har har). Have a good night.

Off to read.
very Jalaine

Monday, January 24, 2011


because i have nothing to say to you.

i wonder if you'll ever know.

Probably not.
-Avery Jalaine

Thursday, January 20, 2011

6 Fool-Proof Strategies for Sneaky Judgments of Strangers, Your Friends, & Other Humans.


my highly hypothetical and inaccurate guide to passing judgment and stealthily determining the inner psyche of people who you can not just bluntly ask personal questions to*:

6 Fool-Proof Strategies for Sneaky Judgments of Strangers, Your Friends, and Other Humans.

1. Examine their bedroom. Take note of: colors, style, personalization, maturity, atmosphere, cleanliness, sparseness/abundance of decorating, and the little details -- like a 1960's Alice in Wonderland knickknack -- that otherwise are overlooked.

Explains a bit of: the things they really love, the way they think (left- or right-brained), their personality, their habits.

Stalk them in Barnes & Noble. Take note of: what genre/section you found them in, what books they're looking at or buying.

Explains a bit of: their intellect, likes/dislikes.

Get to know their friends. Take note of: how they are alike, why they hang around with them, how their friends act, what they do in their spare time.

Explains a bit of: who they are when you're not around, their values, their personality.

**Also note: be careful with this one because you actually have to know the friends, not just do a fastie-assessment, because without knowing how the friends really are then your data is all screwed up and the experiment is pointless.

4. Examine their grammar/spelling skills when they text/type. Take note of: any form of grammar idocy, text-speak, getting raped-by-commas, any sort of "lol", etc.

Explains a bit of: their intellect, whether or not you should hate them due to the word "l8r".

5. Find out their taste in music. (This one is obvious, but sort of vital.) Take note of: really really good music or really really bad music (er, rap), stereotyped "radio" music, all fast/all slow, warning genres (eh, emo), music you've never heard of.

Explains a bit of: their intellect (so true), their personality, how they think, their depth, their ability to identify the difference between good vs evil.

Stare at their shoes. Take note of: what sort of shoe-person they are. There are lots of different species of shoe-people: sneaker-people, stilettos-at-school-people, clogs-people, moccasins-people (debate: are moccasins-people limited to Native Americans?), etc. Lots can be said about a person who wears duct-tape shoes. (Johna?)

Explains a bit of: their personal style, their self-confidence, what ethnicity they wish they were (heh heh).

*as stated before, I'd just like to reinforce that this is unproven data and I don't advise you to base every single one of your relationships on it. huzzah.

Testimonial From the Staff
: (that's me)
"Once, I loved a sophomore because he was very very pretty and very very blond and tilted his head back when he talked so that his bangs wouldn't get in his eyes, but then I started to feel uneasy after I discovered that he had a taste for rap music and the term "ha ha" and this :) and also it appeared that he'd never set foot in his English class on account of his blatant disregard for any sort of capitalization, punctuation, spelling, or language fundamentals we learned in the fourth grade. So I used Steps 4 and 5 and deciphered that, oh yes, he's as dumb as mud, and upon further investigation the phrase "dumb as mud" not only proved to be accurate, but also (unfortunately), quite kind. Poor guy."

-Avery Jalaine Taylor

And there you have it. Use it at your own discretion.

Risk everything.
-Avery Jalaine

Sunday, January 16, 2011

your average everyday femme fatale: me

I think I'd be a very good candidate for the protagonist of some obscure YA novel, a first novel maybe, in which the main character (me) is still somewhat of a cliché. You see, to be a class-A femme-protagonist, you don't actually need to be wildly popular or exciting or even be some sort of stereotype, like your (you, the protagonist) friends are supposed to be.

In fact, it's the opposite. To make it in the fictional character industry, you've got to be something of an oddball, and generally pretty uninteresting in the eyes of your peers (because this is YA fiction, so of course you're still in high school).

Here are some of the usual requirements:

1. Be blatantly bookish, and not that fake kind where it's like, "I like to read!!!" The kind where it's like, "I wish I had a life but I can't because I'd rather read this book, ehh..."

2. Be fairly cynical, and keep a constant monologue of judgmental observations going through your head as you wander about your day. You never voice any of them out loud.

3. Worry way too much about your life and also about the people in your life.

4. Be obsessive about things that shouldn't matter, but do.

5. Have strange habits or mannerisms that don't make that much sense, but can turn out to be a little bit endearing in the end.

6. Think in a way that other people don't, but that---when you're reading it on paper---sounds downright ridiculous, and you feel the need to speak to the book: "No one would ever do that, actually."

7. Love things that are too grand for yourself.

8. Have little to no social life. Or, have a circle of friends that have social lives, but yours and theirs never exactly mesh.

9. Do embarrassing things regularly, proving what an awkward person you are.

10. Make the wrong decisions all the time.

11. Be shy and silent when you're out in the world.

If you don't personally know me, then let me tell you now: this is incredibly me-ish.

But wait.
The thing is, the heroine in a book also always has very redeeming qualities and a devastatingly love interest and a normal life that is suddenly---BAM!---packed with drama.

So, yeah, I'm cynical and I'm bookish and quiet and I do embarrassing things all day long, but I am also not heroine-material because I'm not exactly brave and not exactly revolutionary. There is no heart-splitting romance, especially not the eternal kind from young adult books where you're like, "Oh, they're only 14 but it's so obvious that they'll be together forever!" I do have a normal life and unless it takes a shocking turn in the near future, it's almost painfully drama-free.

My point is, if something did happen: nuclear warfare or my innocent unearthing of a vampire coven in American Fork... I'd so be your girl. I can choose the wrong decision for the wrong reasons with the best of 'em (Bella, being the YA teen queen supreme that I aspire to be... just kidding.)

And like, yeah sure, I'm into having some totally-out-of-her-league boyfriend/true-love-at-age-sixteen that's really sullen and intense gorgeous and oh! turns out he's a genius and a cello prodigy and also a ninja. I'm like, "It's fine."

I care. I really, honestly do.
-Avery Jalaine

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Every time I murder my weekends with books, I feel kind of guilty.

But, oh well, because I brushed up on my knowledge of 1970's society within a madhouse and also learned about how to time travel, which will be good to know for the future (so much pun intended).

Also, I unearthed a super book blog that's giving away Outside In (a book that I've been wanting for weeks) plus 2 others! Huzzah for book giveaways!

And that's all. Except for that it's Saturday (I will not kill it by reading all day/night long) and it's also a 3-day weekend (and we deserve it) and term is over (and I could cry/die of relief) and I haven't spent money or played with my gurlzzz or worn red lipstick in what seems like centuries (that is a blatant lie: I wore red lipstick to church last week). Hip hip hurray!

Oh, don't you know how I already know?
-Avery Jalaine

Friday, January 14, 2011

Complimentary Grain

Lately I've been spending a lot of my Google and blog-stalking computer time on Ever heard?

You define words and fight world hunger. It's a win-win thing.

Get one word right and earn 10 grains of rice. This is me doing charity.

If there's approximately 3500 grains of rice in one bowl (this from Google..), then you have to get 350 words before you actually accomplish anything worth bragging about, except I think that this is achievable mostly because it just asked me "Soar means: a. jingle b. fly high c. donate d. refute" and obviously I could've won this game in second grade.

End world hunger.

Sing. Fail tests.

-Avery Jalaine

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Today I was Googling "Where do you buy those little hot chocolate marshmallows?" and came up with this site:
Chowhound.chow and honestly, it's not that funny of a forum, but someone wrote this:

"When I was I kid, I used sneak into the kitchen and pour the entire canister of Swiss Miss cocoa through a strainer and eat almost all the marshmallows (I always left a token few so nobody would get too suspicious). You have reawakened that craving. Thanks. I think."

We couldn't stop laughing. That is, my mom and me.
Well. Ha.

Smell ya lata.
-Avery Jalaine

p.s. this is the worst thing ever: calling hot chocolate "ho-cho". who do you even think you are? Ya hoochie.

Monday, January 10, 2011

lil' bit 'o' beauty

I have a weakness for beautiful things.

If you're lovely, I will forgive you. If the snow is pretty enough, I don't mind the cold. If the sweater is so gorgeous that my heart beats faster, I'll buy it even though I didn't want to spend money that day.

And so, world, my weakness. In images. A few little tiny collections of beauty (at least in my opinion), and a little slip of my soul. If you've got a beautiful mind, I will love you.

Art. As the daughter of two artists, I'm so inclined. My favorite is pop-art, and quirky, surrealism.

Typewriters. They're gorgeous and timeless and perfect. Oh! I've haven't even told you about my delightful, gorgeous Christmas typewriter yet! More to come. Plus pictures.

Words. And in correlation with words, books & writing. This is my soul. This is my very existence.
Tights. Actually, I love them.

People. In honor of beautiful people, I have two of my favorite beauties, two people who are exquisite. Gaspard is French (of course of course). Zooey is American, but she could say she was British and I'd believe her.

Gaspard: I will marry you. (Gaspard: je vais vous épouser.)
-Avery Jalaine

Saturday, January 8, 2011

a few people who i am

I am my mother's daughter because of all my reactions.

I am my brother's sister because I obsess.

I am my father's daughter because I laugh so hard.

I am my grandfather's granddaughter because I pretend that it never happened.

I am my friends' friend because I am depressed at the same time.

I am my neighbor's neighbor because I pray about him.

I am my enemy's friend because I feel bad about her.

I am my (fake) lover's (fake) lover because I know about all of that stuff, too.

I am my greatest fear's greatest fear because it's starting to get old.

I am my success's slow death because sometimes I like to make myself miserable.

I am a whole lot of people who I'm not, but I wouldn't be this same person without most of them. I am a contradiction.

Tell them I'm far away now; living my dream.
-Avery Jalaine

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

That's me.

yes, it's very very true

It seems like the casting directors of
Twilight should have realized that they made a mistake when everybody keeps hoping that:

a) Bella will end up with Jacob.

b) Bella will end up with Demetri.

c) Bella will end up with Riley.

d) Bella will end up dead.

Let me tell you a secret: I could watch those movies over and over and I bet I'd never get sick of them. We all have guilty pleasures, folks.

Ciao, bella.

-Avery Jalaine

Monday, January 3, 2011

so this is the new year. (and i don't feel any different..)

Hello, all. (Bonjour, tous.)

In case you're living in the past: It's 2011 now.

I'm not one to live YOUR life, but I'm opinionated and I think that every person should resolve. You are not perfect, but you try to be (I hope you try to be; but I love your imperfections, don't I?). Yes, you try to be.

So you lie to yourself: Fix all your flaws. Astound yourself.

You can do this.

And then,

Resolve to change things you'll never change. Make promises you'll break. Write them down on paper like it's easy to fix yourself so fast and painless.

And then mix them, the lie with the truth (the positive with the negative). Do one thing at a time. Try hard. Take little steps. Have faith. Eat.

This is how you will (how you might) succeed. It's all I've got.

Watch this video of one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands that I've been itching to post.

"The New Year" by Death Cab for Cutie

I especially especially especially love this one line, it's the type of lyric that makes me wish to have thought of it before I ever heard it, to have so much depth: "I wish the world was flat like the old days; then I could travel just by folding a map." Oh, oh, oh.

Well, what I'm saying is, be better this year.

Resolve, stretch, dig deep, be drastic, speak, want things, let it go, glitter, be safe, read, see, pray, be a lover and a fighter.

So this is the new year.
-Avery Jalaine