Monday, December 20, 2010

No... THIS is really, really, really gay.

I spend a lot of my time Googling things. And tonight, as I was harassing the suggested searches on Google's search box (like every ol' night), and typing in random things in hopes of finding a comedic gem, I came across just that and more:
The Comedic Gem. I was so thrilled.

But first, let me introduce you to the craft of Google for Amusement Purposes.

To start, you type in some generic words, usually in question format, something like: "Do deer ..."

Then, huzzah!, a short list of frequented suggestions will pop up in response, because Google is very helpful and is trying to guess the exact words in your brain.

But, if you do type "Do deer ..." a lot of nonsense things pop up, because Google is over-eager to please its viewers. So you might get:
"Do deer... have top teeth?"
Or my favorite, "Do deer... eat mums?" This one was highly amusing to me for a good two minutes before I realized that mums are brightly colored flowers, and Google was probably not referring to a young British child, fearful for his mother while she was journeying through the deer-infested woods and felt the need to ask Google, "Do deer eat Mums?" So, it wasn't exactly as funny as I thought, but still..

Here are a few more test-run Google searches before I introduce you to my Comedic Gem.

I typed: "Ham is..."
and Google came up with:
"Ham is... my favorite color."
"Ham is... from cow." (LIES)
"Ham is... the new bacon."
"Ham is... not a toy."
"Ham is... the key."
"Ham is... slimy."
"Ham is... ham." (Way to state the obvious)

I typed: "I told you I went..."
and Google came up with:
"I told you I went... wolverine hunting." (How many people could've Googled this, really?)

I typed: "I think I am a..."
and Google came up with:
"I think I am a... vampire."
"I think I am a... sociopath." (That'd be an unfortunate one to figure out. After killing your family.)
"I think I am a... clone now."
"I think I am a... emo." (nice grammar, you emo)
"I think I am a... mermaid."
"I think I am a... model." (this is one doesn't seem all that confusing to me..)
"I think I am a... ninja."
"I think I am a... girl." (SURPRISE!!!!)

I typed: "Do babies..."
and Google came up with:
"Do babies... have thoughts?"
"Do babies... have their own language?" (like in Rugrats?!)
"Do babies... poop in the womb?"
and strangely, "Babies having babies"

Okay, turns out I spent way too much time on that. That's not even the point of this post.

What this is really about is............ The Comedic Gem!!

Here's what I typed: "Things that are really..." and then Google was like, "Things that are really... gay."

So, deciding it was funny enough because of the length of time I snickered at it, I pressed 'enter'.

(GET READY FOR THE GEM!) And the first page that came up was this: Uncyclopedia: Really, Really, Really Gay and I was like "Lawl!" so I clicked it.

I'm not really sure I get it 100% (is it on a level of humor that I, myself, don't even touch? probably.) but I laughed quite uproariously. So head over there, like, now. It's not even long.


“No.....THIS is really, really, really gay.....”
~ Noel Coward on Really, really, really gay
“Anyone who quotes me is really, really, really gay.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Really, really, really gay
“Anyone who is named Oscar Wilde is really, really, really gay.”
~ Noel Coward on Really, really, really gay

"It was at this point that I round-house kicked the reporter to death for even daring to ask such a question."

"Classification can sometimes be a daunting task."

"On a happier note, anybody who runs after they work out is really, really, really gay. Additionally, so is the South and its occupants."

Is there anything funnier?! And the answer is no.

What a Comedic Gem. You're welcome.

I've always liked Oscar Wilde though.
-Avery Jalaine


  1. Anonymous21.12.10

    This post is SO funny! I love you, Avery Jalaine!

    Me and my friends all read your blog!


  2. Avery,
    Go read about Joseph Smith's magical powers at uncyclopedia. It's histharicall.

    Also, you'll find this, under Mormons:

    “HA! No place in government for you misspelled calamities.”
    ~ Oscar Wilde on Mormons

    “Oh, what, like you've never done something stupid after a meth binge??”
    ~ God on Mormons

    “Mormon Assault Vehicles (MAV's) are known as mini-vans and SUV's.”
    ~ Scientologist on Mormons

  3. Also, Uncyclopedia awkwardness. :)


Oh thanks. You're pretty.