Sunday, October 31, 2010

Regret (Not/Every)thing

I regret everything.

Do you know that?

I am forever thinking of something better I could have said, could have done, could have worn, could have thought of before everything happened. I dream of a Rewind button.

I regret every word I have ever said to you.

But none of it matters because I am still Avery, and so I will regret things and worry and panic, but none of it matters because it's all said and done and you will either like me. Or not. And that's not up to me. You will either be offended. Or not. You will either be blown away. Or not. You will either call me profound. Or call me naïve.

But I cannot change your mind once I've said what I've said and you hate me for it. Or you don't.

I will obsess, but don't let it keep you up at night. I've lost enough sleep for the both of us.

I regret nothing. Not one word.

Call me Avery.
very Jalaine

Thursday, October 28, 2010

the stealthiness of me

Song of the Day: Romeo & Juliet by the Killers, mainly because I lovelovelove the silly lyrics. I laugh so hard when Juliet says "hey-la, my boyfriend's back!"

I had to write a last minute paper for English but I didn't feel up to it.

So I copied and pasted one of my blog posts.

There. Done.


Stare at the sun.
-Avery Jalaine

P.S. I'll write a better post later, once I've stocked up more than 4 out of 24 hours of sleep. Okay?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What I wish is that instead of Facebook, everybody was addicted to posting on blogs. The stalking would be so much better.

Vous êtes mon destin.

Friday, October 22, 2010

holding your breath for too long

Bonjour! Happy weekend. Here's a song for you to give a test run: Garbage Truck by Sex Bob-Omb, aka Scott Pilgrim's band, but not like any of you would know that because you're all evil and wouldn't go to watch it with me, not even at the one for $3.

Here's a summary of my Friday, in pictures:

(except my hair is not nearly that pretty tonight, and my kitten is better)

Oh, and here are some notes to a few people who do not read my blog:

Dear Stranger Girl in Fitness for Life A3, please stop stealing all my cupcake perfume, because there's only an inch left and you spray most of it into the air in random directions anyway. And sorry I was rude when you asked me for my locker combo, but it really creeped me out.

Dear Ashton in Printmaking class, you are beautiful, but are you a cutter?

Dear Mary, I still feel terrible about choir today. I swear I was not laughing at you, because you were singing beautifully. If it makes you feel any better, that whole class thinks I am a total jerk now. huzzah.

Dear Dylan, I miss you.

Dear Ms. Dalton, I get it: your life if hard because we teenagers are lazy and careless and we don't put away the photogram paper correctly. But next time I'm going to have to stand out of hearing-range because I did not enjoy spending 10 minutes nodding sympathetically while you unloaded all your drama onto me. I just wanted you to grade my embossing.

Dear Brandon Ashby, my brother has a yellow belt in karate and I can't wait to tell you all about it. ;)

Dear Wendy Moira Angela Darling, you're such a slut; sneaking boys into your room all night long.

Dear Garret or Max or Aaron or David or any other one of the loves of my life, including the Love of My Life, someday I am going to walk up to you and be all *hair flip!* and be then all......

Now I'm going to go and put on my Hello Kitty's (Hello Kitties?) and go downstairs to draw pictures and then wait for morning when I might actually do something like a regular teenage human might do on a weekend.

Have such a good life. I really, honestly hope that you're happy. I mean, life is terrible, but sometimes it's so good that if you're quiet and reckless enough, you can balance on the edge of bliss for a while, take the whole world down with you.

Also, it's super cool that you're reading this.

Don't choke on stage. Don't swallow your gum.
-Avery Jalaine

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Something exciting has happened to me, and its name is: I Went to Barnes & Noble and Bought Zombies vs. Unicorns with My Book Card.

Highly anticipated, and it was just as epic-y epic as I imagined it. Shiny, smells bookish, is full of unicorns. And zombies. And everyone I love.

I scream-laughed when I saw it. This is a perfect event.

So, in essence, this post was just for me to brag about my new book, but I'd also like to offer up two questions to get your little brains working. Here they are:

1. Team Zombie or Team Unicorn?

2. This challenge was offered on Tumblr: The object to your left is now your weapon of choice in the upcoming zombie apocalypse. What is it?

Answer: Crayons. Oh no.

Good luck.

Just barricade yourself in Wal-Mart. You're good for months.
-Avery Jalaine

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I have a special talent for wasting time.

Woke up at 2 today. Got dressed at 6.

I suck.

Everyone is out to get me.
-Avery Jalaine

p.s. Yesterday I had a meltdown. lawl!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Yeah, I know: worst friend ever.

Zack, I so love you. Yay for 16. Hope you don't hate me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Wish Day 10*10*10

It's October 10th, 2010. 10-10-10. Ten ten ten.

It didn't feel all that magical to me. I was disappointed. Where was the glitter, the falling stars? Where was a boy on one knee and the world falling at my feet? Where was the new tube of MAC red lipstick that I asked for?

Maybe I have to wait until 10:10. That's a possibility, right?

I wish I would have wished more.

Reinvent love.

-Avery Jalaine

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Friday, October 8, 2010

The rain is strange.

Just realized how ridiculously long that last post was.


It shall never happen again.

This is what I was thinking about today:
Do you think there was ever a moment in our new lives as babies, when we entered a rainstorm for the first time and we thought 'Water?! Falling from the sky?!' or do you think there is never a moment where we are old enough to comprehend the strangeness of a downpour?

The rain is strange.

It is because water is strange and unexplainable in an abstract way, as is the sky and space and thought at all and how fire would feel on your fingers if it weren't so hot.

The rain is strange. But I wonder if it was ever new to us.

Fairytales, fight clubs, fossils, and film.
-Avery Jalaine

P.s. two more things:

1. Tessellate by Tokyo Police Club. Listen. It's got a lot of me in it, I think.

2. Is this funny? I could not control myself.
"Never mind about all the times I let you do really fun things.

What a hoot!
Okay. The end.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

And then I realized: I have way too much in common with this penguin.

Hey brothers, hey sisters.

In my opinion, this upcoming post might be my best yet. First, because none of it is my actual work. Second, because it explains a lot of key points of my life with cruel accuracy. And third, because it is hysterical and I almost died of laughter.

But also I'm kind of wondering if people who are not social lepers, and do not relate to these pictures as much as I do will actually appreciate this like I did. If you're cool or something, you'll probably be like, "what? she thinks that's funny? the idiot." at which I was saying, "this is my life! har har har."

Oh, and yes, I realize that there are at least a thousand pictures. I apologize, but everything was so funny that I did, indeed, save 29 of these images onto my computer.


Presenting... two and a half hours worth of Tumblr stalking, starring: Socially Awkward Penguin.

Dear Penguin,
I'm sorry about everything.
I love you.
Best friends forever,

Top 5, because of relation to myself. Oh well.

Okay so, that's my picture tangent of the week. I hope you thought Socially Awkward Penguin was at least a little bit funny. Otherwise, that's humiliating for me because I'm so obviously obsessed.

Today is Thursday, so... eat a pancake. Make your bed. Scream. Tell me everything.

Grow up. (not really.)
-Avery Jalaine

p.s. have you heard this song: Excuses by Morning Benders? You haven't? Okay, well, I love it. Bye.