Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sometimes this is how i am.
But i don't want to.

And i read everything.
It's true and am I good enough when no one is looking?
I wish i woke up to this.

And i wish this was me, and whoever he is.

-Avery Jalaine

Friday, August 27, 2010

List #2

Hello, dear ones.

I'm working on a back-to-school-hoopla post at the moment, but I don't really feel like finishing it right now, so I plan to save it until later so that it can be some sort of big event (just kidding). Instead, here's a list that I started a couple months ago and laughed at today, so I thought it might be good enough to post here. Get ready.

List #2 ; ; Words that Sound Funny with a Lisp

  1. "Lisp". I find it unendingly hysterical how ironic this word is. A lisper can't even say his own speech impediment with dignity. Priceless.
  2. "Mathercise". This is a word that I encountered in my Pre-Calculus class today and laughed at solidly for a good minute. And then I said it with a lisp and totally lost it.
  3. "Mississippi". The sheer number of S's says it all.
  4. "Super".
  5. "Prostitute". It just sounds really lame when you lisp it.
  6. "Sassy".
  7. "Sigh". Because instead of saying "sigh..." with a lot of longing and sadness in your voice, you just end up saying "thigh..." which is just a funny body part and no one will care that you're sad or whatever, because they're too busy laughing about you saying "thigh" randomly.
  8. "Single". That's what you are if you have a lisp. Sorry. (*read: 'thorry'.)

And that's all I've got so far. If you think of any great words that sound funny with a lisp, please tell me so that I can add them.

Now go have fun.

Afterall, it is the weekend.
-Avery Jalaine

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Whoever these people are; their summer was so much better than mine. Yours too, probably, because look at them. They're all lovely and stylish and smart and dressed in coordinating clothing. This is the summer I wanted.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Lists!: The Ongoing Series

Good morning, neighbors! Now that I'm out of my gloomy era from last weekend (I shall call it my Blue Period to sound trendy like Picasso), I'd like to set a new ball rolling in my blog and its name is Lists!: The Ongoing Series. (ha ha. I just linked you back to this very post. sucker.)

Basically, I've had this bizarre list-writing impulse lately (actually for most of my life. I'm a list maniac.) and so I thought I'd post some of my somewhat-interesting/not-so-embarrassing/possibly-worth-your-time lists that I think might (but probably won't) benefit you. Yay!

I think I'll just sort of sporadically post a new list here or there when I get the feeling that my expertise is vital to your well-being and/or survival.

I've already got a huge cache of random lists stored up, ranging from humiliating to rad to educational to self-pitying, and all topics, too. I've got School, Boys, Footwear, Music, Girls, Mammals, Cumulonimbus Clouds, Wishes, Pretty Things, Catcalling, Obnoxious Things, Etiquette, Seasonal Fun, and about eighty more that are more or less equally as differentiated. Oh please, contain your enthusiasm.

So anyhoo (<- I hate people who actually say that), I thought I'd kick off Lists!: The Ongoing Series (ha. did it again.) with a special list I cooked up a couple days ago in which the last week of my summer is laid out in a few simple tasks that are vital to the summer's success. Most of these are group activities (i.e. Katie, Bri, & Spot), but a few of them could be performed in my own spare time probably while wearing jammies. Here goes.

List #1 ; ; The Last Days: Summer 2010

* Sidewalk Chalk ; ; all our dreams
* Paint some shoes ; ; that sounds pretty
* Photography Day ; ; a day of photographs
* Go to an ├╝ber-ethic restaurant ; ; like Thai Village, yum
* Make cupcakes ; ; the best
* Fingernail polish ; ; colorful
* Chick-Flick Marathon! ; ; the sappiest!
* My theme music ; ; a playlist of Avery, thank you very much
* Dance party ; ; outdoors only
* Wishing ; ; balloons and stars and magic markers
* Tattoo ourselves! ; ; i'm only kidding! they're temporary!
* Go sticky-noting ; ; save someone's life
* Home-make some ice cream ; ; then eat it
* Walk to Snoasis ; ; no, i'm serious
* Wear red lipstick for 24 hours ; ; at least 6 . . .
* Thanksgiving Point ; ; $2 on Tuesday
* Attend a Farmer's Market ; ; get some produce
* Give a hobo some cash ; ; cuz we're nice like that
* Set out in the morning and have an adventure ; ; no plan, no problem
* Do some yoga ; ; empowering!
* Astronomy / Astrology ; ; stars party plus the future
* Tell a stranger our darkest secrets ; ; maybe fake ones
* Play Hotter Than Me regularly ; ; because it's amusing and beneficial all in one.
* Watch the sunrise ; ; kind of early
* Have a picnic ; ; food and things
* Get a learner's permit ; ; naaah
* Facials ; ; seawood mud mask, anyone?
* Stock up on some hip new beats ; ; music. get some.
* Find Avery a hot boyfriend ; ; oh? well i'm okay with that . . .

The sky is not falling.
-Avery Jalaine

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Today I came to the gruesome realization that I don't want to grow up.

And there isn't a thing that I can do about it.

Scary sad strange and good. I wish I could be a miserable, tragic, terrible, selfish, sarcastic teenager forever.

I love to be young.

Believe and you will be.
-Avery Jalaine

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Friday, August 13, 2010

Meteor Shower

There was a meteor shower tonight. Did you know?

I mean last night. It's 1:21 AM and already tomorrow.

There was a meteor shower last night. Did you know?

They said it on the news. So I went outside to see. At 11 PM.

I felt like this:
And I made some wishes because meteors are just like shooting stars. Anyway, I wished on them. Every. Single. One.

I think my life will be a lot better now.

I hope that all of your wishes come true.

I wished for you.
-Avery Jalaine

Thursday, August 12, 2010

If it were up to me, everybody would update their blogs every other hour, just to keep me amused at all times.

To Addy and Katie: Post more, please. Thank you.

Wait, here you go.

-Avery Jalaine

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Terribly sorry for posting twice in one day, but I saw this picture and found it utterly heartbreaking. I apologize if it ruins your day and makes you morbidly melancholy, but I felt the need to share it (for unfathomable reasons). It's quite tragic, innit?

Okay. That's all.
Think on it.
-Avery Jalaine

A slight recall of my previous post...

Hello. A few items, in correlation to my last post.

First, a picture.

I think that this photo should have been paired with my last post for obvious reasons, and I couldn't stand the thought of wasting it. It's quite quaint, in my objectionable opinion.

And one more thing I'd like to clear up, just because I've already been called-out on it twice and so I think people are (once again) taking something seriously that I only meant jokingly.

Here's what I'm talking about: "
Playlist two songs for me: The Potential Breakup Song by Aly & AJ and also 7 Things by Miley Cyrus." (from my post on August 7th). It seems that a lot of people (namely two), are coming to question my taste in music. They say things like "why do you listen to such crappy pop, Avery?" or "i have lost all of the hard-earned respect i had for you, Avery" or "have you joined the Dark Side, Avery?"

While I, personally, don't see what the big deal is (I can like whatever crappy music I want to), people keep having panic attacks about it, so I'm just going to say that both those songs are yes, fairly girly and of the 'pop' genre and basically have no depth whatsoever and yes, one is performed by Miley Cyrus, but in accordance to the next sentence that I wrote ("Have a dance party."), they are in all actuality, awesome. So there. Plus also, if you're breaking up with someone, they both seem to be excellent hatin' songs.

You're welcome for this very long tangent that was meaningless and probably just made you think that I was defensive and overprotective of Miley.

Maybe I should've written a real post, instead of just elaborating on my last one with very little creativity. Okay, I've got it. Here's a picture depicting quite accurately how I feel today:
Although I just realized that I did mention watermelon more than once in my last post, so technically this isn't a new subject.

Who cares. I really like watermelon.

Be Calm.
-Avery Jalaine

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Going Places

Song(s) of the Day: Chasing Pavements by Adele
& also;

Nothing to Worry About by Peter Bjorn & John
(which happens to be my text-tone on my cellphone at this exact moment.)

I've been wallowing.

There are less than three weeks until high school starts again --- 18 days, mind you --- and I've been wallowing. In spite of me knowing that this is the perfect time to climb aboard the Summer-and-Oh-So-Interesting wagon, I somehow can't bring myself to wake up early and do random things outside and make the most of this last dwindling month of freedom. Instead, I wallow. Wallowing, in this case, being an utter lack of self-preservation: a whole lot of eating cubed watermelon, listening to Muse while attempting to yoga-fy myself into lotus-position, ignoring my Honors English packet (except for one time), waking up at 12:30 (an accomplishment: it was before 1!), and reading smuggled books at an alarming rate. I'm up to eight books in six days which, frankly, is downright disgusting. These past few days, I seemed to be on a strike against make-up.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

And so finally, after days and days of lying around like a dead cat, I feel like doing something. I feel like getting up. I feel like being curious. I feel like going somewhere. I feel like going places.

I think I'll walk there, wherever there is today. Perhaps a swing. Perhaps a grocery store and then kitty-corner to Roxberry. Perhaps the moon.

Here's what I would do, if I were you: put on some leggings and paint your toenails, then trot on over to the nearest Smith's and buy yourself some Bolthouse Farms prickly pear cactus lemonade. Then draw a picture with crayons and then eat some watermelon. Playlist two songs for me: The Potential Breakup Song by Aly & AJ and also 7 Things by Miley Cyrus. Have a dance party. Reward yourself with a bean-and-cheese burrito at Del Taco. You deserve it.

Reach a little farther. You're almost there.
-Avery Jalaine
p.s. don't mess me with anymore because my mom bought me pepper spray.