Thursday, May 27, 2010

Yearbook Day

Thought of the Day: Never fear ; ; Summer's here.

Song of the Day: When the Day Met the Night by Panic! at the Disco (...in the middle of summer, all was golden in the sky...)


Yearbook day. What's the point of it? You run around all day swapping books and saying things like "I'll die if you don't sign this!" even though you've only talked to that person maybe twice and then you get in this panic because you don't know how to spell their name, in fact you might not even know their name at all. You flip wildly through the pages for their name, and when you do find it you get all suspicious like "what if this loser spelled it wrong too?" and by then the other person is all done with your book and standing there like a lump, holding your book out at arms distance and so you have to scribble something idiotic and grammatically incorrect like "Linzee! Lindsay! You rock! Wow let's played every single day at the summer and bee friends forevver! You rock! HAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You rock! Love, Avery". Your pen started running out of ink in the middle of a sentence so you had to carve the last few letters in and ripped through three or four other pages in her book. You hesitate for a moment (Should I add my phone number? No, it's not like I actually want her to call me. Holy crap, how many exclamation points did I use? Wait. For Pete's sake I can't remember a single word I wrote. I'll just hold this for a little longer while you stand there like a moron.) Finally the yearbook is pried out of your fingers while you are still trying to remember what you said, and yours is shoved back into your hands. Frantically you turn to the page that Lindsay just signed, and for some reason you're hoping that she wrote something even stupider than what you said, and it turns out she just signed her name and suddenly the room is unbearably hot and airless and you're sweating and holy crap why can't you breathe?! You wrote entirely too much, got all up in Lindsay's personal yearbook space. She probably hates you. She's probably talking about you right now.

You see? Yearbook day is terribly stressful. I don't understand why we have it. I guarantee that I like maybe 5% of the people that signed my yearbook today. I basically lied to every person in my grade (Every girl is the "cutest girl on the planet!", everyone is my "bff". Gross.) but it would've been worse probably if I'd told the whole truth ("I hate you." or "Have we really ever met?" or "You have a lazy eye. Why?!").

Okay, so it was kind of fun though. Katie, my favorite, came with us and we took around a yearbook for Bia (a Brazilian goddess!) and got some cute boys to sign. ("Bia! You're so fine! Let's make out! Look me up, page 74. Matt C." Bahahaha.) Then there was some Del Taco so it turned out okay. Whatever.

But... wait for it.... IT IS OFFICIALLY SUMMER!!!!!!!! Well sort of. No more school, but since tomorrow's Friday, then there's the weekend, and Monday is Memorial Day, "official summer" isn't until Tuesday. Who cares though, NO MORE SCHOOL! Hoopla! Blaaa, I'm all hyper and having mild seizures because of this fact. I shall never wake up at 6:30 AM again! (Well, at least not until next year. Poo.)


Dear _________,
Have a fantastic summer. You're pretty.
Love,
Avery Jalaine

Monday, May 24, 2010

Worst. May. Ever.


Thought of the Day: "The world is a vampire." -Smashing Pumpkins

Song of the Day: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas


Here's a good picture of the way a regular last-week-of-school (<-- holy crap!!!) day should be: grass green, sky blue, temperature hovering around, oh, 80 or 90 degrees fahrenheit, birds flying, small animals frolicking/prancing (I couldn't decide which was a better adjective), a total of zero clouds in the sky, girls in borderline-slutty length shorts and flipflops, everyone getting tan, the air smelling like summer. Rrrrright? Right!

So what's the deal with me leaping out of bed this morning (dialog: "Yaaaaaaay summer!") and running to the window ("Will it be eighty or ninety degrees today?"), pulling back the curtains (I don't actually have those), peering out eagerly..... and finding.... snow! What a dirty little 4-letter word! I was obviously heartbroken, immediately I crumpled to the floor and sobbed for a good 5 hours (give or take). The day proceeding this tragic morning was just as wretched: I had to walk in and out of stupid high school 6 times, each time getting more drenched than the last. Needless to say, I looked like a wet cat when I got home today, and had the same attitude of one.

I'd like to end this post on a positive note but that's impossible so I'll just add to my misery: I had to visit the doctor and they poked me with needles and stole all my blood. That's all.


I hope it's sunny wherever you are.
-Avery Jalaine

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Resurrection of Avery Jalaine's Blog


The old blog is dead! (hoopla! the villagers are safe and God isn't angry at me for its atrocity anymore! yay!)

So I decided to completely delete, refresh, and revamp my blog because the old one was A) ugly, B) stupid, and C) turning into some sort of scary diary thing where I spilled out all my secrets. I was getting very terrified that someone would randomly come across my blog and be like "whoa, this is perfect for blackmailing Avery into being my slave/murdering my wife", and then hitting CTRL-P and handing out copies and maybe even taping it to the walls at high school. That'd be tragic.

Soooo... new blog! New look! (yeah, I actually learned how to customize the layout. finally. stop laughing at me.) Oh, and the other ancient-blog-of-humiliation-and-grammatical-errors that I never posted on has also been officially deleted and I'm not even restarting that one on account of it made me sad/frustrated. Double yay!

Now I don't know what to do with myself, the blog is all spacey and empty, kind of like when you wantwantwant to write but you're intimidated by the blank paper. Well-la, do you want a run-down of what's happening in my life right at this moment, just for kicks? Too bad, you get one anyway.


Some Things Happening
  • Well, I'm almost done with High School part one of three. What?! There's one week of school left and that's totally just a formality. Did you hear me? ONE WEEK LEFT OF SCHOOL!!!! #$!%^&* Summer is hecka soon! I've already made a few summer to-do lists, schemes for my escapades with my pals. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do, but it's my 16th summer, so it had better be grand. I'm almost missing summer even before it's started, isn't that gay? I hope it's long and way too hot and mildly boring so that it'll last longer.
  • I have a newfound hunger for getting my learner's permit. I might do it this time.
  • Kelsey and I had a sluffing party because I am retarded and didn't do my 200 point research paper and had to get out of English before Miss Jensen found out. Kelsey just came because I'm a bad-influence and we're BF's and she doesn't like going to class either. And maybe because of her ADD but I'm probably not supposed to mention that. We bought Icees because I love them more than everything else on the planet (that's a lie. I like fruit leather and rainbows and Del Taco better) and then we went out to some field where girl's PE had been practicing archery on these creepy/hilarious/sad fake animals with all of these arrow holes riddled through their bodies/eye sockets. We laughed and laughed and laughed at them, especially the turkey.
  • Me and my mama went on a shopping spree. I could tell we were spending way too much money but I kept seeing things that looked cute on me and being like "gimme!", but then I'd have to pick between two things, like Converse or Toms, and my mom was like "you can only have one" and I was like "waaaah" and she was like "okay you should get both" and I was like "yaaay cashmoney". I like shopping when other people buy my stuff.
  • I am going to miss going stalking at lunch with Lorin and Trish and Kelsey sometimes. We're very clever spies. Our most effective strategies for sneaking up on cute boyz include memorizing their shirt color ("It's a Code Maroon!") to seek them speedily out of large crowds, code names (Percy Bakin'), hand signals (there's a G, a C, an S, and multiple J's. we're hand-letter masters), and talking/laughing as loudly and idiotically as possible as we walk by them, even though we all swear we don't do that (we do).
  • Tomorrow Lorin, Trish, and I are supposedly going to see Letters to Juliet together. This probably won't actually happen, but I'm hoping it does. Also, I have this obsession with Frozen Yogurt Junction where you go and build your own yogurt and then WEIGHT IT for price and it's so fawesome.... well I'm trying to force them to go with me but they're stubborn little girls and Trish is a complete whiner and keeps refusing to go. Weenie.
  • So, I think I'm going to keep doing thoughts/songs of the day on my blog still. Not in this post because obviously I had to start clean, but next time there'll be something inspiring and/or lame that'll hopefully brighten up your day.


I think that's the end of this tangent, but next time I'll do another one of those dorky/informative posts just briefing about who I am, and who all those other geeks I've been rambling about are. Just for your information. More drama later, anyway.


Stay pretty.
-Avery Jalaine